Weddings & Funerals Bring Families Together

4 years ago, my family came back to Singapore to carry out the final rites of passage for my grandma (bless her soul). She was very sick and we didn't make it back in time to see her for the last time, in fact, we were 10 hours short coz we were air borne.

Chinese people believe in sending our dead off in style and that was my grandma's wish as well. It symbolises prestige and wealth in the living and guarantees an even better afterlife. It was the passing of my grandma that brought my extended family closer together than we've ever been.

We took the opportunity to bond, to reminisce, to laugh, to cry, to mourn lost chances and to cheer over good fortunes.

4 years, some new births and several gatherings later, we are back together again, this time to celebrate the joyous occasion of my cousin's daughter's wedding. My cousin, Ah Ngoh single handedly brought up 4 kids on her own. She rose from a simple seamstress to a successful and capable woman and all of her children turn out just fine! Her daughter, Jaclyn, is the first graduate in her family, and the first to wed so really, we all saw this more as Ah Ngoh's moment more than anything.

The wedding was held over the F1 weekend on Sentosa Island, off Singapore, where a major casino and a Universal Studios theme park is currently being built. The resort that hosted the wedding was Rasa Sentosa by Shangri-la.

It was a pretty big wedding, with over 400 guests. Well, that's big to me, but according to Singapore standards, about right. There were other weddings at the resort so it was pretty crazy getting there and finding our way around. The resort was beautiful though but we didn't take any pictures of the resort coz we got there just in time.

We mingled with the rest of the guests and looked at some of the bridal pictures which the couple went to South Korea to take. Very enchanting idea, the thought of going away to another country to have your bridal pictures taken, with the whole entourage following them en route. In Asia, unlike North America, couple take bridal pictures and portraits before the actual wedding day. In North America, it's bad luck to see the bride in her wedding trousseau before the wedding day. In fact, most grooms usually have no idea what the gown looks like until the bride walks down the aisle.

The Chinese dinner was a long drawn out affair, like all Chinese dinners due to the abundant amount of courses. The best part of the night was when everyone left and Da Bi and I adjoined in my cousins' hotel rooms and drank and laughed and made merry.

My cousins and aunt.


Mother of the bride, the proudest day of her life!


My cousin, David and his wife.



My cousin's wife and son. Poor kid, had an eye infection.

Another cousin of mine, Ah Keng.

My cousins' daughters, my nieces. They were quite the drinkers that night! :)

Da Bi and Ah Ngoh, toasting each other.

Jaclyn, in a splendid red dress, like a present waiting to be unwrapped! I love this dress, unfortunately, this pic does it no justice.

Big brother cousin with Da Bi. Speaks not a word of English but gets along with Da Bi just fine.

2nd favourite gown - her white chantilly lace gown was gorgoeus, very Vera Wang. Maybe it was, I never got to ask her.

Ah Keng and Joe, my cousin and her hubby.

My cousin's kid, he's like a little gangsta! ;)

My nieces and nephews, plus my aunt.

Rasa Sentosa Resort

101 Siloso Road

Sentosa 098970

T. (65) 6275 0100

Tis the season of weddings so I'm off to the next one!

Peace out,

Lady Partay.

When All Hell Breaks Loose

BOO.

The 7th month is upon us. Oooooooh...spooky. It is also known as the Hungry Ghost Festival and it falls on the 7th month of the lunar calendar. It is somewhat like Halloween in North America but it has way more importance than just dressing up as ghouls and goblins. This festival is celebrated by the Chinese in parts of Southeast Asia and China. It's actually taken quite seriously by the people, even the non superstitious ones, in Singapore. Malays and Indians alike observe the general dos and don'ts of this month long festival.

The Chinese believe that during this time, the gates of hell spring wide open and hungry ghosts are free to roam earth. Brings to mind battles between good and evil on middle earth in Lord of the Rings, don't you think?

To pacify these spirits, food and offerings are laid out for the taking. The Chinese are big believers of ancestral worship so this festival is also one to commemorate and pay tribute to their ancestors who have passed on. This is done to ensure good fortune and to ward off bad luck for future generations.

It's been a while since I 'celebrated' this festival since I've been out of the country for so long. David and I were wandering around the suburbia heartlands of Bukit Batok when we chanced upon a 'getai', literally meaning song stage. It is an operatic concert of sorts, although no Shakespeare, performed outdoors in Hokkien or Teochew for both the living and the dead, is a visual and audio delight to the uninitiated. This tradition is a dying one because only the living old truly understand and appreciate the art of the melo-drama. They observe it fastidiously because they believe these performances will please the wandering spirits.

As a child, I use to accompany my maternal grandma (bless her soul) to the big open field beside our apartment, foldable stool in tow to watch these concerts, every night for the entire month. My grandma would pick a cool and unobstructed spot and plant herself there for the rest of the night. Me, I didn't really care for the opera on stage. I was happy to be out of the house, roaming with the other neighbourhood kids. Grandma would always try to scare me by warning me of spirits roaming the area as well. That didn't do anything for me as I played hide and seek, hop scotch and 5 stones to my heart's delight.

Memories came flooding back to me as I hear the familiar sounds of squeaky flutes and clashing cymbals, smell the burning of fragrant incense, see the colourful costumes and elaborate make up of the performers. For the first time in my adult life, I wish Grandma was here to explain what the people on stage were wailing about.

A female performer, dressed up as a man, possibly a scholar.

This is was the resident drummer, living out his dream of being a rock star. Think he was the troupe master since he was the one who gave me the OK to take pics.

Offerings of fruit and cake to the wandering dead.

Decorations, symbolizing wealth or gold.

The robe and headgear of a deity or spirit on display. No one sits on this chair other than 'him'.

Chinese deities and spirits aren't always the most benevolent looking. This one looks like the King of Hades, god of the dead.

Alot of spirits are also beliefs based on folklore to scare people into submission.

Hell money to be burnt, as offerings to the dead. It is believed that even in the underworld, material goods are highly coveted.

A dinner table, laid out for the wandering ghosts and spirits, to appease their hungry stomachs while on their roam on earth.

Elaborate 3 story paper houses, complete with paper servants, plants, suits, cars, jewellery, DVD players, to be burnt so that such luxuries can be enjoyed even in the underworld.

Resplendent house offering for the dead.

The burning of offerings begin.

A row of red chairs flank the 1st row in front of the stage. These priority seats are reserved for VIPs, also known as 'the others'. These performers entertain and hopefully appease.

I've never been one to believe in the supernatural but I can fully appreciate the culture and tradition of this festival. It actually makes me a little sad knowing that 2 decades, or even 1 from now, this would probably completely die off.

On that note, I will think about what I will dress up as for Halloween this year. It's the 1st time I am celebrating it in Singapore and my girls and I are excited about what we'll do.

Past years...

Pimpin' it up, Foxy Cleopatro style. Hugo was kinda scared at first, he kept looking at my afro and trying to sniff it. I think I left my afro in Canada...:(

Foxy with Morpheus from the Matrix.

I was a 1920s flapper girl at the company Halloween party.

What will you dress up as this year?

Needing ideas!

Lady P.

Knocking on Heaven's Door...literally.

My buddy, Vincent, and I are comfortable enough with each other to talk about anything. We've known each other since we were freakin' 13, man that was a loooooong time ago.... Coincidentally, apparently my mom use to be his kindergarten teacher! That's him on the left, beside Da Bi.

Don't know how da hell we managed to keep in touch all these years, different classes, I moved away, didn't have e-mail then, stayed away for the next 10 years and here we are, back to square 1. He and I are another testament that men and women can be platonic and still hang out.

Last weekend, we caught up with each other over tea and got talking about all kinds of shit. Due to the nature of his job, Vincent has travelled the world, seen alot of shit, met alot of people, eaten alot of food. He ate curry for breakfast everyday for more than 2 weeks straight and had the major runs after while in India, dared to eat balut - a nearly fully developed embryo of a baby duck, feathers, bones, beak and all - and chickened out (pun intended) in the Philippines, paid a poor boy living in a mud hut, food and clothes in Ethiopia and met Gene Simmons, frontman of KISS, known for his demonic make up, and declared him a 'chi ko pek', dirty old man . As you can all imagine, he's got some pretty amazing stories to share.

One of the most memorable ones was an incident that he witnessed in Singapore itself. He was in a sleazy part of town, picking up some equipment at a rental place and right beside it is a whorehouse. He saw an old man, in his 80s wobbling up the stairs of the whorehouse with his walking cane. An hour later, when he was heading outside for a smoke, he saw an ambulance pull up outside the whorehouse. Guess what? The old man had died in bliss.

That's some way to go, eh? How about an express ticket to heaven? He thought he was in heaven when he was inside some hooker, then voila, he's literally inside the gates of heaven! I mean, seriously, at least this man died happy. Not a bad way to go...

Which got me thinking, what about the hooker? I mean, she must be fuckin' traumatized out of her fuckin' mind! Here she is, thinking she is doing an old grandpa a favour by giving him the best hard on an 80 year old man can have, then he goes and dies on her, IN her. Man...that's traumatic...like, shit, man...can she ever perform again, knowing that something like this may happen to her again? Or she brushes it off like this was another used condom?

Shit happens. I think since the hooker has decided on this very lucrative profession, she has obviously learnt to detach herself from her clients. Sure, she may be a bit shaken from it, but she'll get over it. Who knows, she may even brag about how she brought a man to fulfillment during the last throes of passion. Quite a title, don't you think? I mean at the end of the day, it may not bring the superstitious old men to her door since they'll be too freaked out that by doing so, they'll be advertently knocking on heaven's door. However, her reputation to bring a man to such orgasmic fruition will be quite the talk of the town, don't you think?

Folks, don't blame me for being heartless. I'm just keeping it real.

What do you think would happen to this hooker?

Searching for answers...

Lady P.